how I discovered I was pansexual
- shit that guy’s hot
- oh fuck that girl’s hot too
- wait what trans people are hot as well
- damn sweet jesus I’m not sure what gender you are but you’re very hot
- is there a term for this condition
“i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography
“I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.
“I want to wear shorts but I don’t tan and I’d rather not blind you” The trilogy
“I want to wear shorts but my huge dick always sticks out” a pop-up book
a pop up book
Dark Blood ….. Dun dun dunnnnnn.
Night Embers. Alright then.
Sharp saber…as I use hammers instead. ( + +)
Bloody Killer…well, at least it’s honest. I would be bloody about it because bloody is more fun and more satisfying.
Short Killer? Awwww
short turkey….. ummmm
Ozzy Osbourne having fun at wax museum.
If you don’t get this reference, you’re too young for tumblr.
are you fucking kidding me pixar puts out a movie ever year a baby would get this reference
it’s not pixar it’s a reference to that time in 1994 when lamps became sentient humanoids
many were lost that day
It was a grim day for mankind. My parents took refuge in a cave and thus saved us from certain death; we lived close to a lamp factory at the time and the surrounding region was utterly devastated in the conflict.
My brother fought one off using only an egg whisk and a pogo stick.
Only 90s kids remember the Lampocalypse
My father still has the scars from where one stole his kidney
Ironically, it was a dark time.
One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious. When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the President’s Secret Service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner. Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, “Why was he so interested in talking to you?” She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her. President Obama then said, “So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant,” to which Michelle responded, “No. If I had married him, he would now be the President.”
get it girl
THIS JUST MADE MY NIGHT A MILLION TIMES WORSE
8-inch chocolate penis that oozes fondant cream… Fresh mint fondant, Valencia orange fondant, Williams Pear liqueur fondant, Mozart chocolate liqueur fondant, Cointreau liqueur fondant and Irish coffee liqueur fondant.
Okay but is it possible to get the filling colored red? Because obviously the best use for these is to make a gif or video where you’re licking and sucking at one seductively, making bedroom eyes at the camera, and then you BITE THAT MOTHERFUCKER IN HALF AND SHRIEK YOUR VICTORY AS THE DELICIOUS BLOOD-FILLING DRIPS FROM YOUR VICIOUS MAW.
This site scares me so much.
Reblogging because that damn comment